Bubba and the Mysterious Murder Note by C.L. Bevill

Author:C.L. Bevill
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: texas, humorous, redneck, bubba, bevill
Publisher: C.L. Bevill

Chapter Thirteen

Bubba and the Enduring Enigma

Monday, August 20th

“How will we find ye rascals who be mutinizing the pirate ship?” David enquired politely.

Bubba stared fiercely at the Smart car with its spiffy Jolly Roger wrap. Roger was definitely laughing at Bubba. He could tell. Walk, or ride in a vehicle that looked like it would carry Barbie and her BFF, Midge. Ken would have to cut off his feet to fit inside, so he probably took the Barbie Corvette or the Barbie Jeep instead.

“What?” Bubba realized Ding Dong David the Doodlehead was speaking to him.

“Follow the trail!” David announced. “They be swashbuckling like a slimy sea snake with a surfeit of Snoop Dogg.”

“I’m not following ye, er, you, David.”

“Let us be off after the man who sold ye the part, Bubba,” David said slowly because he clearly thought that Bubba was slow.

“He’s a Traveller,” Bubba said. “He’s a little hard to get ahold of.” Although Bubba had it in his head to return to the trading compound, park himself in front of Rory Donal’s place of business, and sing sea chanteys with David the Piratous until the kid caved in and upchucked Paddy’s phone number. It could work. I kin sing yo ho ho and a bottle of rum a whole lotta times.

“A Traveller,” David said. “Why didn’t ye say so? I know a group of Travellers in White Settlement in Tarrant County. They be drinkin’ fools, says me. They did the roof on me ex-wife’s house. Some say the Travellers are all thieves, but that roof will outlast Dorothy and Toto.”

“There’s a lot of Travellers, David,” Bubba said, “and I reckon the odds are against you knowing the same man.”

“What be the salty sea dog’s name?”

“Paddy Sheedy,” Bubba said.

“Curses of the splintering peg leg!” David said. “Me knows some Sheedys!” He reached inside his leather coat and retrieved a cell phone from an inner pocket. The phone had a matching Jolly Roger flying across the back. “Let me make a few calls. Blimey bilge rats.”

Bubba opened the door of the Smart car and looked inside bleakly. It didn’t look any bigger than the last time he’d looked at it. Maybe if he backed into it, he would fit better.

David pressed buttons on his phone and put it up to his ear. After a moment, he said, “Arr. Pip! It be David Beathard.” There was a pause as he listened. “It’s a pirate thing, lovey. Me is sure you understand.” Another pause. “Yes, it’s like the superhero thing.” Pause. “No, there be nothing wrong with Terry’s roof. At least me don’t think so. She’s taken up with a scurvy Hell’s Angels biker, so let him fix her roof with his Harley. Arr.”

Bubba tentatively stuck a foot inside the car. Eight air bags? Where did they put eight air bags in the little itty-bitty thing? He had a sudden mental image of the Mars Pathfinder rover bouncing safely onto the red planet cocooned in its array of airbags.

“No, no, no, Pip. No need to break his kneecaps or even keelhaul him.

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